Posted on June 30, 2008
Filed Under Laura's life with Ryan |
I am Laura and I have been happily married to Ryan for a year now. Though i love him life is not always easy being married to him, though it is not his fault it is the reality. We have days where all we do is fight. On a day that he is edgy and snaps a lot I myself get crabby which in turn leads to fighting. I try not to let his moods affect me but hey I am human and it happens.
I can honestly say growing up I did not picture this as my life but now that I am in it I would not change my life, I love my husband and I will do anything to help make him feel more secure and happy with who he is. I feel that everything happens for a reason, and Ryan and I are meant to be together or else we would not be where we are today.
Being married to someone with a mental illness requires a lot of time and dedication from you, and you have to be ready and willing to do what it takes, you also have to be prepared for times when the mental illness takes control of your spouse for the day, and remember your spouse does not have control of when their illness will kick in and take charge. If you are not ready and willing to do what it takes your marriage will not survive and both of you will be miserable with your lives.
There are also gonna be days when you feel like nothing you do or say is right and that your spouse does not view you in the same way that they did in the beginning, I have these days, but I can tell you that that is not true, your spouse still loves you and they do not mean to make you feel bad, they have no control over themselves sometimes. Remember that though you feel this way some days, your spouse feels that way most days.
I have found through my marriage that the best thing you can do is to be there and support your spouse on a daily basis. When Ryan has a rough day I try to talk to him and see what is going through his mind. Some days, however, Ryan does not want to talk and the conversation waits till the next day when he feels a little better and is ready to talk about it.
Also, remember just because you fight does not mean that you can not make your marriage work or that you shouldn’t be together, every couple fights whether one of them has a mental illness or not and you are no different. Communication is also key in making your marriage last. Communication is essential in every marriage but when you are married to someone with a mental illness I think it is even more important because if you do not communicate you can not help them overcome some of what they may be feeling or thinking when they have a bad day.
By sharing what my life is like being married to someone with a mental illness I hope to help others realize that they are not alone and that there are other people going through the same thing. Look forward to more information on things you can do to help your spouse, things you can do for yourself to help you deal with your marriage, and things that you both can do as a couple to help make your marriage the best it can be.
Please, look forward to my next post where I will go more in depth on how my life has changed since being married to Ryan and helping him deal with his mental illness and some tips on how you can make a more successful life for yourself and your marriage to your spouse dealing with a mental illness.
So you don’t miss it, I recommend you subscribing to the site so that you can keep up to date on all of the latest posts from me and Ryan and please share this site with everyone you know and feel free to leave me comments and questions that you may have at anytime and I will get back to you promptly.
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5 Responses to “What life is like being married to someone with a mental illness. Part 1”
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This site is dedicated to people dealing with mental illnesses, people dealing with addictions,and tips on staying clean and sober.
hi,laura.
you are a wonderfull person,its so nice to see your approach to ryans illness.
i asked my wife to read your post,the reason,because she is in the same position as you with regard to me.
very best wishes love to you both regarsd pete
Laura,
iv got to tell you seeing your life with ryan really upsets me cuz i never thought the man of your dreams would have so many problumes but i know your happy and thats all i want for you. im happy that ryan is the one to make your life happier hes a good person that needed you. i love you both and miss you so so much. with lots of love both of your lil sis krysy
~~~~~~peace and rock out~~~~~~~~~~
Ryan,
i know in the long run we dont know much about each other but the one thing i do know about you is you make laura so happy and i thank you for that iv never seen her so happy. thank you for that and for being part of my family. love and miss you
lots of love your lil sis krysy
You talk a lot about mental illnees but I haven’t been able to find anywhere that mentions what Ryan’s illness is. I struggle with Bipolar Disorder and Panic disorders. I was hoping to find more people with my disorder to talk to.
Thanks
Rebbecca
Interesting to read this thread. However, I have a question for anyone who want’s to comment. I have someone in my life that has been diagnosed with Borderline/Narcissistic Personality Disorder. She is in denial of this disorder for almost 4-yrs.She has gone to therapy, but then quits. She only goes into therapy when I refuse to take her back.
What should I do? BTW, she’s out dating again…